Home > Corporate > Media Centre
ASK FOR WHAT YOU NEED
Marion Grobb, Director Communications, CFPSA, Ottawa,
(613) 996-6826, grobb.marion@cfpsa.com
Marion Grobb is a professional speaker and published author. |
Last month I was coaching a team and sharing results from a questionnaire I'd developed and that they had filled in. When rating their areas where they wanted to improve, the number one thing that popped up was, "learning how to ask for help". Wow. That was an eye-opener for many around the table.
Asking for help is tough, isn't it? We fear appearing incompetent. We don't want people to realize we're a big fake and that we don't know something they figure we should. We keep on telling ourselves that someone could cope, why can't we? Well, here's a lightbulb moment . people who ask for help often get it.
Here's some tips on how to ask for help effectively:
* DON'T WHINE. No one wants to hear the, "oh poor me" story. Present the details factually and tell the person what's in it for THEM if they help you.
* WHAT'S IN IT FOR THEM? One of the most powerful communication strategies is to present suggestions and requests from the "what's in it for them" perspective. Identify how the person you're speaking to will benefit from your suggestion. Tie your request to his or her goal or corporate objectives. Paint a picture of success and impact . with them in it.
* MAKE IT A TRIAL. When you're asking for a commitment, make it bite-size. It's easier for someone to commit to a short-term, low-investment idea. It lowers their risk factor and feels more comfortable. Next time you have a project and you're getting some resistance, use a trial period and assure the stakeholders that you will reassess the situation at critical points.
* BE BLATANT. Subtlety is wasted on most people. Forget the indirect communication. Know exactly what you need and ask for it. Last weekend a friend, who is a high school vice-principal, called saying that she was bringing over a few rented movies. She mentioned in passing that it was the last night of her high school's year-end play. After dinner, I asked if she wanted to watch the movie and she again, casually referenced the play. Upon prodding, poking and probing on my part (eeks, too much work!), I managed to extract from her that she had really wanted to see that play. Unfortunately, it was too late in the night, the play was already started ... and too late for her to speak up.
Asking for help comes from a place of strength, confidence and certainty. You deserve to have your requirements heard. Your responsibility is to give those needs a voice.
Editor's note: Marion Grobb is a professional speaker and published author. Through this column, she shares with her NPF colleagues some copyrighted articles she has written for various media and clients.
